Tiger's Heart Read online

  Lucas leaned back and watched her eat a moment, before nodding with obvious satisfaction.

  Manners once again reared their nasty head. “Breakfast is delicious.”

  “I’m glad,” he beamed at her, as though she weren’t fantasizing skewering him with her fork.

  “I’m still mad at you.”

  “I expected no less, but there are things we still need to discuss. We’ve gotten distracted by trivialities.”

  “Trivialities? Like you forcing drugs on me and thinking you’re a shapeshifter?”

  “Jan .… Honey, we are going to have to do a lot of adapting to each other’s cultures. I recognize that. But I need to tell you some things that go beyond culture.”

  She didn’t have the energy to brace herself. “Hit me.”

  “We’re mated.”

  “I was there.” The heat rushing to her face had her cursing in her mind.

  “I don’t mean we had sex, though that sealed the bond, I mean we are mated. Right now. The closest human equivalent is marriage, only there is no means of separating mates other than death.”

  Manners, she decided, were overrated. Propping an elbow on the table, she rested her chin in her palm and took a bite of toast. Around the mouthful, she managed to ask, “What fresh hell is this?”

  His face wavered between amusement and insult, before settling into a neutral mien. “There is a … metaphysical element to being a shifter. We are a different species. Until Caitlyn, it was believed humans and shifters couldn’t procreate.”

  “Caitlyn? But her mother was raped .… Holy hell!”

  “Hold it right there. I don’t know what you’re thinking, but for the record, Caitlyn’s mother was the shifter, not her father.”

  Guilt niggled at Jan. She had assumed the rapist had been the shifter. “So Caitlyn can turn into a tiger, too?”

  “No. But Patrice likely will.”

  “Wait. What did you mean ‘until Caitlyn’?”

  “Caitlyn is the first human/shifter hybrid known to have ever existed.”

  “And her parents mated to create her?” This was getting confusing. Hell, she’d abandoned any pretext of not believing him just to try and understand the conversation.

  “No. I’m getting ahead of myself and things are getting mixed up.” Lucas leaned back in his chair and ran a hand through his hair. “Our mates are preordained by the gods. We know our mates as soon as we meet them and our mates know us.”

  “Sorry, I didn’t have any gods whispering in my ear when I met you. In fact, you annoyed the hell out of me.”

  “Your nose was packed.”

  “I’m sure I’m going to love this explanation,” she grumbled.

  “Mating is a biochemical reaction tied to scent and pheromones. I knew you were mine the minute I got close enough to get a good whiff of you.”

  “How romantic.”

  “You were unable to scent me until the packing was removed. After that I stayed away long enough to let you heal some before you went into heat.”

  “Heat? Like a dog?”

  “Like a Tigre. Have you ever reacted to a man like you did me last night?”

  She jerked in her seat. “You knew? You knew that was going to happen? And it had nothing to do with either of us and everything to do with a chemical reaction?”

  “No!” Alarm spread across his face. “It had everything to do with us being fated for one another. The pheromones are just a catalyst.”

  “A catalyst,” she repeated, feeling stunned.

  “Jan, I knew you were mine the moment I touched you. The fact that there’s never before been a human mate for a Tigre wouldn’t have stopped me from making you mine.”

  “If humans and Tigre—” she managed to say the word that time— “don’t mate, I could just be a genetic anomaly. Maybe I just smell like your mate will.”

  It was a logical thought and one that sent daggers into her heart, no matter how mad she was at him.

  “Damien went to consult with a matriarch—a wise woman who lives in solitude to better commune with the gods. She has been expecting you to come to us. You are the first human, first new blood, that will be joining the shifter lines. And, because you are a true mate, our children will be able to shift.”

  Her mind arrested on the word “children”. “I’m on birth control!”

  That brought a smile. “I didn’t mean you were pregnant right now, but the children we will have. I’ve always wanted a large family.”

  She just stared at him a long moment. “I think I’ve reached information overload. I’m not sure I can process all this.”

  He reached across the table and covered one of her hands with his own. “I know this is overwhelming, and I know you need time, but I need you to know something. I will never willingly cause you emotional pain, and I’ll cut my hand off before I raise it to you.”

  Sincerity radiated from him, hitting her like Chernobyl. “I know. I want you to promise me that you will never drug me against my will again.”

  “I can’t do that. I can promise I’ll never drug you without your knowledge.”

  “Stalemate,” she announced, too overwhelmed to argue.

  “You must be exhausted. Why don’t we go back to bed? We can talk more after a nap.”

  “Maybe I should head back. Caitlyn’s probably worried about me.”

  Gentleness shone in his eyes. “Honey, she knows you are my mate, and she’s been through the heat and fever of mating herself. She understands.”

  Jan swallowed. Somehow, taking a nap with the man felt more intimate than what they’d done during the night—the aftereffects from which she was still feeling. “I need some time…”

  “I promise I won’t make any demands on you. I just need to hold you. Stay.”

  He issued stay as a command, but Jan saw the vulnerability in him. Too tired to let logic rule her actions, she acquiesced.

  Cuddled in his bed with the heavy curtains drawn, she nestled against him, too tired to feel more than contentment. Fortunately, contentment was enough to let her slide into sleep.

  Chapter Twelve

  “You thought I had joined a cult?” Caitlyn demanded as Jan crossed the threshold to her home.

  “I see Damien’s been flapping his gums.”

  “A polygamist cult? Have you lost your mind?”

  “It makes a lot more sense than the weretiger explanation,” she defended weakly, before going on the offense. “Maybe my best friend could have mentioned I was walking into a trap last night.”

  “Dinner with Lucas was not a trap…” Caitlyn wrinkled her nose. “It was a .… “

  Jan crossed her arms under her breasts. “I’m waiting.”

  “An opportunity.”

  “An opportunity?” Jan’s mouth fell open and she began sputtering.

  “And a great opportunity at that. Last night you mated the perfect man for you. You are now part of the Pride and you’ll live next door to me.” Caitlyn flung her arms around Jan and squeezed. “Who says happily ever after is only for fairy tales?”

  Had the whole world gone mad or just this corner of it? “Jesus Christ! I barely know the man. My life has gone insane and you are imagining me moving in next door and joining the freakin’ Junior League. Tell me, are we going to trade baking recipes too?”

  Caitlyn pulled back enough to look her in the face. “I’m rushing things. I’m so sorry. I was just so thrilled when it turned out you are truly Lucas’s mate. I haven’t been thinking about how overwhelming you must find all of this.”

  Jan accepted the comfort of another hug. Then found herself being dragged to the comfortable living room. Caitlyn threw open the bar and pulled out two margarita glasses, tequila, mix, and salt.

  “It’s not even noon yet,” she protested.

  “It’s after two,” Caitlyn corrected, before turning to waggle her eyebrows. “You must have lost track of time.”

  Shit. She could feel the blush that crawled from her collarbone to h
er scalp. It was hot enough to set fire to the entire house. The nap had ended in a rather carnal pursuit that she couldn’t possibly have described to a priest in confession.

  Jan eyed the glasses as her friend rimmed them with a lime and dipped them in salt. “What happened to not drinking while nursing?”

  “I’m having a virgin. You’re getting the real McCoy.”

  Two drinks and half a bag of tortilla chips later, Jan said. “My life has spiraled out of control. No, not spiraled. Spirals are pretty and organized. My life has … scribbled out of control.”

  “Scribbled? Maybe you should ease back on the tequila.”

  “I can’t keep sitting back and watching things happen to me. I have to do something.”

  “You did do something. You got to safety. You came to us.”

  “I ran away.”

  “I know better than that. Asking for help is harder for you than taking a beating. It’s why you’ve been so resistant to accepting it. Not to mention how crabby you are.”

  Jan glared. “I’m always crabby.”

  “Fine. Not to mention how much crabbier you are.”

  “Better.”

  “Thanks.” Caitlyn’s eyes narrowed. “I know you’re not thinking about going back to Carey right now.”

  “I have to reclaim some control in my life, or at least being active rather than reactive.”

  “You know that part in a horror movie, when the screaming chick runs up the stairs and not out the front door? That’s your current plan.”

  Jan laughed and topped off her drink with the dregs from the shaker. “Give me some credit. I’m not running up the stairs, but I have to actually do something. I need to stop being Elliot’s victim.”

  “I agree but—”

  “But what? We all know he broke in and vandalized my place, but no one can prove it. He’s been in my apartment before, so any prints could have been left from then. Plus, two minor assault charges aren’t going to put him in jail. He’ll plea to probation.”

  Caitlyn looked like she wanted to argue, but was too good a friend to lie. They both knew Elliot wouldn’t spend a night in jail.

  “I need to put my life back in order, and I’ve got to get back to work.”

  “I still don’t want you to go back there. I think it’s stupid.”

  “At what magical moment does reclaiming my life stop being labeled stupid and start being called brave?”

  Caitlyn worried her lower lip. “I don’t know.”

  They sat in silence for a few minutes, before Caitlyn asked, “I can’t stop you, can I?”

  “Nope.”

  “You know Lucas is coming with you.”

  “I don’t expect him to do that.”

  She snorted. “I’d like to see you try and stop him.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Lucas gripped the steering wheel so hard he left permanent indentions and clenched his teeth to lock the growl in his throat. The first part of the drive to Carey had passed in pleasant conversation. He’d enjoyed learning Jan’s past. Who knew surly women could be so sexy?

  The plan had seemed so simple. He’d make her comfortable by talking about inconsequential things then segue into a casual exchange of life stories. When the time felt right, he’d intended to shift the conversation to their mating. She needed to understand the metaphysical bond they shared.

  But she’d blindsided him. “Did you just ask me if I wanted to date you?”

  Jan glowered at him. “It’s a reasonable question. If we are going to keep having sex, we need to be adults and talk about it.”

  He counted to ten. “We are going to keep having sex for the rest our lives. We’re mated.”

  “Arrogant, aren’t you?”

  He shot a glance at her from the corner of his eye, but still couldn’t tell if she was teasing or just pissed. He counted to twenty. “No. I’m not arrogant. I’m humbled and grateful that the gods gifted my life with you. But there are things you don’t understand about the differences between humans and Tigre.”

  “I can’t believe you just said that,” she snapped.

  “About you not understanding?”

  “No, about you being humbled and gifted.”

  “Why not?” He cut another wary glance at her, taking in her closed off body language.

  “Because that’s the most wonderful thing anyone has ever said to me.”

  Her furious tone took him aback. “You’re mad at me for saying something wonderful?”

  “No, I’m upset because now I can’t be mad at you for being arrogant.”

  “You’re mad at me because you can’t be mad at me.”

  “You bet.”

  She sounded so serious—hell she was serious—he couldn’t stop himself from throwing back his head and laughing out loud. The ridiculousness of the situation quashed his outrage. “I’m always going to have to be on my toes around you, aren’t I?”

  “Not at all.” She smiled sweetly. “It would be better if you were on your knees.”

  Caught off guard by her humor and the double entendre, he laughed again. What had ever given him the idea he could control a conversation with her? “Trust me. I intend to spend a lot of time there.”

  Jan rewarded him with a hot blush before saying, “Then we need to talk. We weren’t responsible when … before. I’m clean but will submit to a blood test if you’d be more comfortable.”

  “Tigre aren’t susceptible to STDs,” he assured her. “I want you to be comfortable, though. I can’t submit to a general blood test. We don’t let humans check our blood, but we do have our own labs. It will take a little time to get the results, but I want you to have any reassurance you need.”

  “Thank you, but if you say you can’t get STDs, I’ll believe you.”

  Her tone didn’t convey a ringing acceptance of his word, but he’d take what he could get. Besides, they had more important things to discuss. “About this ‘dating’ you suggested—”

  “I know the long distance makes things complicated, but I need to get back to work for as long as I still have a job. I’m going to have to start sending out resumes ASAP. I’ll probably be looking all over. I could end up closer to you, but I may wind up out of state. You should know between Elliot and the job situation, now is not a good time to get involved with me.”

  Do not try and rescue her. Caitlyn’s solid advice warred with his tiger’s instincts. He fought the tiger and won … barely. “Jan, we aren’t just dating. We’re mated. The bond is there. Prolonged separation will cause physical deterioration and intense discomfort.”

  Jan frowned. “So we’ll see each other every weekend. If this thing doesn’t work out, we’ll just have to suffer while the bond breaks.”

  Heaviness weighted his heart. Her words underscored the cultural chasm between them. And her lack of understanding was his fault alone.

  “Honey, every weekend is not going to be enough. Even every other day is hard on a mated pair. There are measures that can be taken for a separation, but those measures are temporary and don’t work long term.”

  After a protracted silence, Jan asked in a small voice, “So we need to end the mating now?”

  Dammit. He was fucking this up. “No. We can’t end the mating. Now or ever. The mating is a gift of the gods.” He raked a hand through his hair and focused on the traffic picking up around him. “We need to be together every day.”

  The temperature in the car plummeted. “So, if I don’t fuck you everyday, I suffer.”

  Shocked, he jerked the steering when he turned towards his mate. Quickly returning to his lane, he waved an apology to the driver giving him the one finger salute. “No, you don’t have to fuck me to avoid pain. We need to spend about five minutes together a day, even if it’s just on an elevator together.”

  “It’s a hell of a drive to Carey just to ride an elevator.”

  He had to force himself to stop grinding his teeth. “If you stay here, so will I. I can pick up ER shifts downtown prett
y easily.”

  “You’ll stay just because I’m here?”

  “Of course.”

  “Where will you stay?” she challenged.

  “I’m assuming you have a couch.” He was assuming she had a bed, but didn’t feel it was necessary to mention that.

  “You plan on sleeping on my couch for the rest of your life if this doesn’t work out?”

  He wanted to bash his head against the steering wheel. Instead, he counted to fifty. “Jan, I know this seems strange and probably a bit surreal for you. I’m trying to be understanding, but you need to know that the tiger is part of me, and having you constantly rejecting us is agitating him.”

  “Are you threatening me?”

  Beneath the bravado he heard the fear. “I’m not threatening you. Neither I nor my tiger would ever hurt you. When my tiger instincts flare up, it makes it hard for me to have a calm conversation. My emotions stir up.”

  Jan chewed that over a moment. “I’m not trying to provoke you. I guess I need a better understanding about what it means to be Tigre.”

  She sounded subdued, but the scent of fear dissipated which calmed him somewhat. “Honey, I’ll answer any questions you have about shifters—”

  “Shifters?”

  “Yes, there is a lot more out there than just Tigre. I’ll be happy to tell you all about it, but first I need you to understand what our mating means.”

  “It sounds like we’re stuck together no matter what we want.”

  “You are thinking like a human, but things in the shifter world work a little differently. The gods create two people who are made for each other. We are compatible and you’ll find me very easy to love if you let yourself. Not that we won’t have fights or disagreements, but ultimately, you’ll know I’ll always be there for you and I know the same about you. We’ll make each other happy.”

  “How do you know I’ll be there for you?”

  “I just do. I don’t know if it’s faith or instinct, but I believe it. I believe in you.”

  “No pressure there,” she sniped.

  “I know you are thinking of this as the beginning of a possible relation, but to me—and in the eyes of my people—we are wed. You’re my wife. I don’t expect you to just accept that. I intend to court you, but I don’t want you to suffer during the process.”